Saturday, March 11, 2006

Dis-ease

Just when I thought I was "coping" along comes reality to shatter the illusion. I've been keeping busy, going out, working hard, then check my balance today to find that I'm completely skint until I get some cheques coming in which won't be until the 20th. And I still have the family to feed.

I didn't go out last night - I had something I was meant to go to but decided a night in was a good idea. Feeling a bit tired after going out nearly every night. Then my world felt like it was crashing in. I'm not happy with the situation I'm in. It's not how I want things but it doesn't look as though my world is going to change so I guess I will have to get used to it. Soldier on and all those other interminable platitudes. What does my mother say? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Oh yeah, it's so easy. Well, it isn't.

Okay, today I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be better. If I can keep saying that to myself, maybe the illusion will seep in...

11 comments:

O'Grady said...

staying in is underrated.


--O'Grady

O'Grady said...

I'm currently posting as O'Grady.

--O'Grady

Moinous said...

or I can sign in as a different user

--Moinous

KRT said...

This blog does not allow anonymous comments.

KRT

O'Grady said...

Type the characters you see in the pictures above.

--O'Grady

O'Grady said...

I much-recommend reading some of the stuff on KRT's blog, Rose.

That's some harrowing stuff.

--O'Grady

O'Grady said...

One of my best mates, right there.

--O'

Lilly said...

Hey Rose -- hope you're feeling better now. I am sorry to hear that things are not good at present. Better days WILL come. They always do. And I am not trying to feed you yet another illusion. It can be a real f**king pain in the arse when people tell you to pull yourself together etc. -- some days are just CRAP. And that's it. No matter what the hell you do and no matter how hard you try.

O'Grady is right: staying in is definitely underrated. A night in where you spoil and pamper yourself, take a long hot bath and indulge in chocolate, etc. will do you a world of good, dear. Thinking of you :-)

Rose said...

Yup, O'Grady. Kurt's writing makes my life feel entirely uncomplicated and serene. I'm just in angst territory right now. In existential crisis.

Hey Lilly, thanks for your kind words. I know things will get better. I'm an impatient person sometimes and want it all better NOW. There's a lesson in here for me somewhere... Patience, Grasshopper. (You have to have watched Kung Fu... David Carradine... loved that show).

Rose said...

I know you tried to convince me about allowing anonymous postings Mick, but I just couldn't see what the fun was in all that spam.

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